Way back in the 6th standard, I discovered by accident that the pee hole had another purpose. I was hell scared. I didn't know what was going to happen to me, was I dying? Because white was always a deathly colour.
But then I found there's something called Playboy, and that WWF diva Sable is on the latest cover. In the days of text only internet, having managed to get access to an connection with multimedia.. after a lot of moneywasted spent well, I arrived on Playboys website. And I swear, it was Para.. Para.. Paradise!
I downloaded galleries, made a playmate collection sorted by year (yes, I've been a collector too), took prinouts of my fav pics only to burn them after their existence was consummated. I locked main door, and blamed it on my bro every time I was caught. So much effort, so much lying, all for sex.
Cuz sex was taboo. It was my discovery that the world doesn't approve. Porn was a secret club accessible only to a privileged few. And I knew that the day I lost my virginity, would be the best day of my life.
And then, many years later, it happened.. Mazaak mazaak me, my virginity was lost.
I was on the top of the world! It was a eureka moment. My existence was now justified. I was gonna be a sex god, girls would be driven by lust at the first sight. The porn industry would give me a PPO, only I would reject the offer for a more idyllic life.
But did that feeling last? So much talking, flirting, touching, cuddling, protection, music, candles, turning another person on/off like a switch, long foreplays.. Uff.. Things were so much simpler as a child. Now I get it when people say they wish they hadn't grown up.
But then I found there's something called Playboy, and that WWF diva Sable is on the latest cover. In the days of text only internet, having managed to get access to an connection with multimedia.. after a lot of money
I downloaded galleries, made a playmate collection sorted by year (yes, I've been a collector too), took prinouts of my fav pics only to burn them after their existence was consummated. I locked main door, and blamed it on my bro every time I was caught. So much effort, so much lying, all for sex.
Cuz sex was taboo. It was my discovery that the world doesn't approve. Porn was a secret club accessible only to a privileged few. And I knew that the day I lost my virginity, would be the best day of my life.
And then, many years later, it happened.. Mazaak mazaak me, my virginity was lost.
I was on the top of the world! It was a eureka moment. My existence was now justified. I was gonna be a sex god, girls would be driven by lust at the first sight. The porn industry would give me a PPO, only I would reject the offer for a more idyllic life.
But did that feeling last? So much talking, flirting, touching, cuddling, protection, music, candles, turning another person on/off like a switch, long foreplays.. Uff.. Things were so much simpler as a child. Now I get it when people say they wish they hadn't grown up.
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