The Cribbing Buddha

So we are at an age when we're not religious but spiritual. Rebellious atheism was for adolescence.

Obviously you have thought if religion was a choice and not an inheritance, which one would I have chosen? If you haven't, think about it for a minute.

Unless you are the kind that says I'll choose the religion that supports polygamy or promises n number of virgins in heaven, your first thought would have gone to Buddhism. (Ok, I agree Osho is pretty awesome too ;)
But face it, the firangs there won't lay you any hay- 'tumhe ghaas nahi dalenge' & anyway it's not a religion.)

But then why Buddhism?
Maybe cuz lot of famous, awesome people endorse it- Steve Jobs, Brad Pitt, Sharon Stone, Tiger Woods.
Plus it's a very open religion, doesn't tell you to do much except meditate. That brings a lot of mysticism to it.
It's like this cool dude of all religions. By it's awesomeness or its coolness, don't know which, Buddhism definitely has a pull.

Do I like Buddhism? That's a different story. But I'll tell my experience with it.
So this is 3 years back, Mumbai monsoons, story of 3 friends. Getting bored, not much to do as all were jobless or going to start b-school. Catching up at night for a smoke, saying 'Kuch toofani karte hai'.

Pandeyji says his dad goes to a 10 day meditation camp not far from Mumbai. The rules are:

1. No electronic devices, smoking oR drinking (very sensible)

2. No reading or exercising (Hmmm.. Ok)

3. Meditating 12 hrs daily (uh.. Huh)

4. No talking to anyone, total maun vrat (R u serious?)

But still, Pandeyji, the salesman that he is, convinces an unwilling Dhanno and me that we all should go.

And when the day comes, Pandeyji, the motherfucker, disappears.

So it's just me and Dhanno, and we go only because we don't wanna chicken out. To our delight, there are other things Pandeyji didn't mention

5. If you get caught talking, you are reprimanded like a school kid.

6. You'll be woken up by a temple bell every day at 430 am. (If you don't wake up, a helper will come to your room, you know, to help you wake up)

7. Last meal of the day is at 6pm, and you get Poha every day. (I mean, every fucking day)

8. No shagging (Wtf!!?? Kill me!)

But obviously, rule 8 is not enforceable, so Dhanno and I both discovered that by day 3 we were both shagging thrice a day, and obviously we had broken rule 4 also. Dhanno had gone to the extent of requesting his neighbour to lock him inside so that the helpers don't bother him while he snores to glory. (I used to sleep in my own pagoda cell like a good boy cuz my neighbour was a fanatic)

But then it was a great experience in retrospect. We have a lot of things to remember, without technology and gossip. And everything taught about religion, we both will take to our graves.